About Bunking.

Aah general awesome things.

Winter sun and all that breeze.
And the will to just bunk work and relax at a friend's place. To just bunk work and sit in a coffee shop. To bunk work and watch back to back Castle episodes.
To just Bunk Work.

And then have ceasar salad. Lots of it. With mayo and not healthy dressing.

To ask boyfriend to bunk work too.
To just ask for a over long never ending winter weekend.
To go shopping with awesome student sister with exams (lucky b****). To make her bunk studying.

And the works...

So here I am.

At this junction once more. I don't know which road to take. I am headstrong but weak in my knees. I am smart and yet I am foolish enough to be standing here again. I am confident but also adequately shy to admit that.

Look.

I know I took a lot of turns. Not wrong turns but just turns.

And as it turns out that now it is the time to take the right decision. The correct path needs to be chosen right now. I don't know enough about this journey. I don't even know about the thorns on my way.

What I do know is that I need to Not lose hope.

So I am trying what one of my best friends very aptly suggested,

Dear Universe,

I know you are taking care of me. Looking out for my happiness. And I have always trusted that you will be there for me when the road is way more twisted than ever before.
This time I cannot decide for my own. I am willing to melt the hang-ups in my head. I am willing to let go of apprehensions.

Please give me strength enough to accept the decision that you put in front of me. Please let me hear my instincts and let me do what my heart really desires. Let me be right this time. Let the road be bend-free once more.

Dear Universe, let this time bear fruitful happiness. Let this second count. Let my life be full of greatness and let my joys be absolutely complete.

Om.

Crass? I know.

So I have learnt a new lesson.

I have learnt that sometimes people are not that important. Sometimes your own feelings are a priority. Just because you never expect, people just assume that you never will.

So Hi people...

You assume always that you can unload your burdens on me and feel happy about it? Well you could.

But there is a small subjectivity to this.

You have to learn to care for me as well. Nothing more. Nothing less.

You hear me out and I will take my magic wand and use it whenever you need me. You fail to listen. Well, no brownie points for you love.

Do not consider this as a disclaimer. It is not a condition that is applicable to my love for you. It is not an expectation that you HAVE TO live up to.

It is a simple attribute to the personality of people that I can call my own.

You either have it or you don't.

I won't judge you for it...

Did I judge you when you fell off the tree?
Did I judge you when you climbed that very same tree to once again bruise your knee?

I did not.

And I won't judge you for caring less either.

I would simply cease to call you my own. My brain can't process such negligible character and I cannot welcome you to kick my shins at your pleasure.

Nostalgia and all that jazz can be used time and again to drive my spirits. I can live with years and years of happy memories and not care for this unnecessary nothings.

What I cannot live with is, self absorption that you practice and preach so overwhelmingly.

Beyond that.

Well it's beyond my control.

Love.

A not too tall building.

Four floors. And a Basement.

Lots of Mirrors.
Lots of glass doors.
Lots and lots of Drama.

Music fading in and out.


Aaaah, Life!

*Dreams on*

Vroom??

So You thought you could take me for a ride?

Zoom past the meadows, polluting the fine country air. Blurring the glimpses of the world outside and also blurring the lines of time.

You thought that you could whizz past the traffic and come out in the clear?

Just steer through the unending noise and conjestion. Blowing your horn and also your trumpet.

You actually thought you are capable of that?
You actually assumed I will follow you through.
Assumed that You will impress me?

Don't bother love.

Your car isnt the type. And neither are you.