2010, I don't hate you...

Just realized that I had not written a word here in 2010.

I wonder why?

I think it was the whole I-will-be-an-entrepreneur phase.

I think it was also the I-am-creatively-and-emotionally-satisfied phase.

But that should never have meant that I stop writing. Nothing in this world should hamper expression. What we wish to express must always be let out, must always be said.

And there has to always be a clear demarcation between fantasy and reality. Very similar to what me and Best Fraaand discussed. Mix the two and we will be in soup. And that too clear soup where everything is visible.

Fantastic elements of my mind may never be understood by another mind. Because every mind is too caught up in it's own respective imagery. And why probe judgement when you can avoid one? It is always better to simplify things. That is the rule of nature. Complications are always unnecessary. And they hardly bear fruit.

:)

Gladiator sandals are comfortable and trendy.

Dupattas are HOT. Especially bling ones.

Of hiding Metal Keys

With due respect to adult hood. You Suck!

I want to capture the young me, the child me and store it in a big ornate box with extremely delicate and absolutely intricate carvings on the lid. I want to hide it in my wooden cupboard, lock it and hide the key. The small metal key which is easy to camouflage.

Then when I am sick of this horrible feeling of growing old, of years passing me by, of my innocence dying, of not being able to scream and cry when I want, of not being able to run bare feet, of money making, of horrid judgemental looks, of adult leeches using others like stepping stones, of people not being happy enough because of silly reasons....
... I will just reach for my hidden key and open the wooden cupboard. I will take my ornate box with delicate and intricate carvings on the lid and then I will simply dive into its velvet insides.
Purple and velvet.
Soft and comfortable.

I will imagine the insides of the box to be the insides of a genie bottle. The child in me will be the genie of the bottle and will fulfill my wishes. Three at a time...

I will ask for white snowflakes on the tip of my nose.
I will ask for a sparkling river beneath my feet.
I will ask for the last ray of the sun, right before it sets, in my hair.

*poof*

A Clean Blackoard

Markers.
And pencils.
Sharp edges of the Paper Cutter.
Paper cuts.


Erasers to erase. White Fluids to cover.
Dusters to wipe.

Ever noticed that a stain still remains?
a-stain
as-tain.
or

abstain.


Keyboard.
Keys.

Locks?
Bolts.

Nuts?

Screws. Screw ups!

Pens.
All kinds. Fountain, Ball point, Sketch, Roller.
Nibs.
Ink.
And stains.
Ink-Stains.

Inks-Tains.
Inks- tainTs.


Taint. Tainted.

Maintain.
Main-Tain...
Feign.
Free Reign.

Guiltfree.
Freeguilt.

Love.
Lots of it.



Pain. Less.
Painless.
And once again. Makers. Marked.
Markers. Marking. Markings.

Etchings.
Sketchings.

Stretchings. Of the sky.
Of Will.
Of rivers.

Clean Rivers. Running rivers.
Ran.

As I enter the money making lifestyle...

Congratulations to me.

It is not sinking in yet. But it will eventually.

The broke days are over.

Hopefully.

But there is this sense of This not being It. As in I must have better things in store for me right? It has to get better than this. It will. I will make it.

I will strive hard, no doubt. And I have a knack for transforming things that start at nothing to them becoming super fabulous. You know they always told us in our Consumer Behavior classes that an underdog who makes it large will always make it to the heart of the audience. It is like a sure shot formula to success.

And I love being that underdog. And I always make sure I make it big. Whatever I do.

So what is so different this time? I need like heavy doses of motivation but no encouraging words. I can't take it when people motivate me verbally. Other small things work for me.

I know it will all be better when I start on Monday.

And once I am into it there will be no turning back.

But all these years i was always in control of what i wanted to do and suddenly it seems that I am not. I am sure that won't be the case starting Monday.

Till then I shall divert myself by shopping and socializing.

I like it.

And yet this numb-ness.